Russian girls are beautiful and intelligent, they are great housewives and home-oriented spouses. The culture of Russia is that Russian girls are generally getting married relatively early, when there are about 20 years old. In many cases, the first marriage is not happy for them and they decide to find their happiness the second time on dating sites when they are 25-30 years old and they already have a child or two from the first marriage. Western men are able to meet such young Russian women on the dating websites. Is a man already ready to have serious relationship with a young Russian girl with children? What he can do if he loves her, but she has children?
If a Western man has serious intentions, he would meet her and her children pretty soon. Then, after the marriage, he is expected to provide some financial support for her children, and assume some parental duties.
If the woman is attractive, her kids might not seem like a bad part of the deal. They may be well-behaved and enjoyable first time. What other men pass by, might be an OK deal for the man with less status and less choices. It’s like buying an old luxury car. You can’t afford it new, it has a lot of miles, but it may have a lot of life left.
But frankly speaking, it could be a kind of nightmare for the man and he won’t easily awake from. The kids have absolutely do not care of the successful new relationship of their mother and do not imagine their mother’s relationship with any other man than their biological father. At least at the beginning, the new “dad” has no power over them at all.
Man, who intends to marry a young woman with kids, should know a little about juvenile psychology. Obviously, the brake with the biological father is a psychological trauma for children. Maybe the first guy of the young woman was good enough, but taking into account the divorce (or maybe they were not even married), most probably, that guy is not so good. It is to think about the kids’ genetic and social heritage: the kids may have very bad genes and education. Boys can be a little more receptive than girls. The boy may play a good guy around, but he would be more and more morose with time under the power of estrogen. Girls will usually consider the stepfather as an everyday Santa Claus only, who must buy pleasure to them. If something goes not like they want, the parents may expect for acts of sabotage. Kids may do it perfectly.
Getting involved into relations with a young woman having children is drama and it may cause so many troubles to the man that he probably can’t even imagine. Before taking this life-altering decision, here are several points to think about:
Does the man really love children?
Some men do, some don’t. If the man never had children before and never wanted them, it’s time to double think about it. To rely completely on the young mother is not a good idea at all. Troubles will come very soon. If the man always loved kids and he has the grown-up children living separately with their own lives, it would be possible for him to admit the things as they are and to try loving new children.
Does the man ready to change his habits and his life?
All the life of the man will be changed when the wife and children come in his home. First time is very important to create kind and loving ties in the new family. Obviously, it will be less time for business and no time for friends at all.
How do the kids feel?
Divorce is difficult for children, but re-marriage can be even more difficult for then too. Children generally feel a bit jealous when their mother has relationships with another strange man. Their emotions, like fair and insularity, are totally normal. The best remedy in this case is good communication and constant care of the part of their new father and their mother who should act in common.
How much responsibility is required from the man?
Best way to avoid future problems is discussion. Mutual understanding is the ground for building relationships. Besides money talks, there is a home routine. The young woman might want all the parenting responsibilities on her. However, leaving the man without responsibilities can be bad as well.
Can the man give up to be number 1?
We all want to be happy in marriage. When married, we have the happiest first time of honeymoon. But with constant presence of kids, it is better to foresee the absence of very romantic evenings and nights first time and then. The real family live begins at once. If the man wants to visit Hawaii, his wife may insist on the Disney World for sake of the kids. The man has got to be flexible and wise enough to realize just does his wife love him with an absolute suggestion that she loves the kids so much.
Does the woman want more kids?
It is better to discuss this point before the marriage. Normally, people do this way. When married, the family life will show whether the kids from the first marriage are ready for having a new sister or brother. A lot depends on the young wife in this case.
As a conclusion, people say that the true love matters. All the man can do, is to have a lot of patience and love. The man must be responsible for his family and love all of them: genuinely, sincerely, openly.