The role money plays in a relationship is so important that often times couples overlook having the discussion about money. I mean, how do you know when the right time to discuss money is? Do you tell him on the first date that you declared bankruptcy last year, or do you wait until there is a commitment to discuss money? And even then how much should you talk about? Should you tell him how much money you make the day after you decide to be monogamous?
It can be difficult to choose the right time, especially since money is such a hard topic to discuss. Its how some people define themselves, so it can be quite uncomfortable for someone who doesn’t think they make enough to share that part of their life with someone.
Whenever you decide to have the money talk with your significant other is up to you, but it is vital that the discussion happens. In my opinion you should know what your partner’s beacon score is before you marry that person. I am not saying not to marry them if they have a 520 beacon score, but you sure shouldn’t be surprised that they have a low beacon after marriage. It’s better to ask yourself if you could be with someone who cannot manage their money well, prior to marriage. Maybe he or she has too much debt for you to handle. Whatever your significant others financial situation is, you should be aware and know if it’s something you can deal with before making such a lifelong commitment.
The money talk is extremely important because things can change very quickly when financial struggles begin. The pressure of a job loss or debts piling up can have a powerful impact on a relationship.
How Financial Difficulties Can Affect Couples
Couples experiencing financial issues often discover they have lost their ability to deal with all sorts of other problems the way they used to. Some of the changes that can occur as a result of financial issues are:
- Depression – Depression often happens when one partner lost their job and is out of work for a lengthy period of time. It is extremely important for the partner who lost their job to not tap out of the relationship because of depression.
- Stress – Sometimes the partner who still works starts feeling overwhelmed and stressed because of the responsibility of having to pay all of the bills. This is where communication is very important.
- No Fun – Often times when there are financial problems, couples stop having fun. The stresses of their finances consume the relationship and it seems that life just stops. Just a friendly reminder that having fun doesn’t always require money.
- New Priorities – The flip side to not having fun is having too much fun to avoid the issue at hand. This will only lead to more unhappiness.
- Frustration – Have you ever met someone who doesn’t handle their money well and wonders why they don’t have what their neighbor has? Well living above your means will always cause frustration.
- Lack Of Intimacy – You and your partner may find yourselves avoiding intimacy simply because you are under so much pressure.
How to Ease the Pressure of Finances
Whatever the reason for financial problems in a relationship, it’s important that couples work it out and fight fair. Money should never stand in the way of two people who love each other under any circumstance. Here are some steps that you can take to help ease the pressure of finances.
- Stop trying to live up to other people’s expectations and please don’t try to live up to the Joneses or the Smiths, or the Kardashians.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you just don’t know what you are doing, ask for help. Just remember to ask someone who is managing their own finances well. If they can’t manage their own finances well, they sure as hell won’t be able to tell you what to do.
- Sometimes it may just be that you don’t make enough money. If that’s case just find anything to do. Work at McDonalds if you have to. While you’re flipping burgers, just keep thinking that this is temporary and use every spare moment to find that next job.
- Support your partner if they’ve lost their job and assist them in finding something. Putting them down for not working won’t work. Encourage them!
- Discuss finances together. When both people are contributing to what’s going to happen with your money it makes for a happier financial life.
- Find ways to enjoy each other’s company without having to spend huge amounts of money.
What Do You Do To Avoid Financial Stress?
“How Finances can Stress a Relationship and What You Can Do About It” was included in the following carnivals:
Carnival of MoneyPros at The Happy Homeowner
Yakezie Carnival at My University Money
Carn. of Financial Camaraderie at My University Money
Carnival of Retirement at Freeat33
Y and T’s Weekend Ramblings at Young and Thrifty.ca
Finance Carn. for Young Adults at Brick By Brick Investing